Another Disabled Veteran Ends His Suffering
Image via Wikipedia
For those of you who have visited my website or spent any time at all on my blog, you may have noticed an Eagle draped in the colors of our flag along with the words “Donate to a Disabled Service Veteran.” I had been attempting to help a disabled veteran work through a number of issues. In the last several months, his quality of life steadily declined, leading to, among other things, divorce and minimal supervised visitation with his child. This veteran had been injured during the Gulf War and was considered 100% disabled by the Veterans Administration.
Unfortunately, I did not receive any donations, so I was unable to help him financially. Since his divorce proceedings began, I rarely saw him anymore as I became entrenched in my own personal and business issues. I guess I had convinced myself that this man would never hurt himself because he had such a sweet little boy that adored him. However, the divorce and supervised visitation was more pain than he could stand, and he chose to end his physical and emotional pain by taking his own life.
It’s hard to believe that an injury he sustained 20 years ago ultimately was the primary reason this man took his own life. Unfortunately, this happens more than most of you are probably aware of. They suffer in silence because they were conditioned to believe they couldn’t admit they needed help without it harming their career, keeping them from getting promoted, or that they would be considered weak by their peers and supieriors for seeking help. I saw this over and over again as a Commander in the Air Force. I was fortunate in that I was able to help implement a new way of thinking…to seek help if you need it and if anything, that shows an inner strength that is to be envied, not punished. I never once withheld a promotion or an assignment, withdrew a security clearance, or required anyone to involuntarily leave the service because they were talking to Mental Health professionals. In fact, if someone got into some sort of trouble and they had already sought help for their issues through Mental Health, that was considered heavily in their favor when deciding what actions to take, if any.
I’d like to encourage you to do something that may be awkward or uncomfortable to you. If you know or meet a veteran, the first thing you should do is thank him or her for serving their country. If that person seems to be in physical or emotional pain, talk to them if you can and encourage them to seek help, even if it has been years since they were injured or completed their time in the service. You’ll know who they are…they may have an unstable work history, problems developing close relationships, problems with drugs or alcohol, may have interacted with your local police department, seem to lose focus every now and then, be depressed or overly anxious or just seem as if they’re a little out of sync with those around them. You’ll know who they are. I would rather approach someone and ask them if everything is OK and be told to bug off then to see their face in the Obituaries. Act…jon’t just think about it. You may just unknowingly save someone’s life some day.
I recently saw this man’s young son and it breaks my heart. He won’t be told the real way his father died for probably several years. Then, he’ll have to go through the grieving process again and will most likely need counseling to process it all. Children are resilient though, and he has many friends and relatives to love him and take care of him. Other families aren’t so fortunate…reach out to them too.
Remember…we are at War! Virtually everyone I know has lost someone in their family or knows someone who has. And, it doesn’t look like the situation is going to change much in the near future. I’ll find another veteran that can use a helping hand, and if anyone ever clicks on that button and makes a donation, I’ll see that 100% of that money is used to help the veteran and his or her family. Hopefully, this time the results will be different and through your donations, make a real impact on a veteran’s life. Please note: Reminis is not a 501 (c)(3) charity and your donations will not be tax deductible. I didn’t write this seeking donations, but if you do so, the money will be put to good use. I simply didn’t want the passing of another brother in arms to go buy without somebody at least knowing it happened, and to encourage you to reach out to those who may be suffering in silence.
Thank you for your time.
Vic Mangino, President
